22 September 1944 was a momentous, life-changing experience for all Estonians – for those people departing never to return, those left behind who couldn’t leave for decades, and for Estonia, the country, which had its name changed once again.
I was fortunate to be born into and have lived in parts of the free world. My parents Oskar and Magda had known occupation by foreign powers and the freedom of an independent country – Oskar had been a volunteer in Kuperjanov’s School Boy Battalion in the War of Independence – and now the Estonia they loved was becoming occupied again. They were living in Pärnu. Freedom meant a risky boat trip across the Baltic Sea towards Sweden avoiding retreating German and advancing Soviet ships during unpredictable autumn weather.
Oskar made some notes in a small pocket diary:
17 Sept – gone to see friends, knew nothing yet about boat’s departure
18 Sept – the whole town is full of noise and confusion
19 Sept – Magda phoned. Will get my passport
20 Sept – We take a ferry boat at 8.45am, arrive Kihnu Island 13.00 hours
21 Sept – on the boat at 15.00 hours
22 Sept – depart on the sailing ship “Alide” at 10.00.
I try to capture their feelings with this poem:
Forced departure
Smile had been torn from their faces
Their hearts straining not to break
Solemnly they shut the door
To take a final stroll … to the boat
Handbag, briefcase, extra layers of clothing
Who was there to whisper? Who would see?
People now noticed things
And they were leaving Pärnu, Estonia
Surely not forever?
The sea and sky looked grim
As they stepped on the cutter ‘Alide’
A nightlong sailing into the west sea
Something had begun
When will it be over?
They huddled on deck,
Low ready islets flitted by
Homeland disappearing quickly
Will the captain dodge
German and Soviet ships just as swiftly?
Where will he steer?
Will they reach Sweden safely?
They sailed through the dark autumn night. Luckily, the Swedish coastguard was on the lookout and escorted “Alide” to the port at Farö Island, off Gotland.
23 Sept – 16.30 arrive at Farösund, on shore at 20.00h
24 Sept – (it was Oskar’s birthday,) at Slite, overnight in tent
25 Sept – at Slite, overnight in tent
26 Sept – leave Slite at 15.00h by bus, arrive 21.00h at Visby Gotland, sauna.
There are more brief day-by-day entries of their transfers and life during the next few months which included activities such as choir practice, church services, relocations, trips to other refugee bases to give concerts, kitchen duties and rosters, Swedish language classes, all bringing some routine and normality to life. There was much discussion too, about decisions to be made about the future.
These brief diary entries enabled me in the 1990s to follow in their steps to explore and get a sense of the places they arrived at. Included in this journey is life in Uppsala where I was born and finally in Stockholm where I grew to be 3 years old. Standing outside the building we lived in and around which I would have played in Stockholm, I collected these thoughts in a poem called:
This patterned life
She knitted when the house was asleep
Occasionally at the child in the cot she would peep
Peace around her to concentrate
Jacquard, chevron, cable,
Samples set out on the table
Haapsalu scarves to slip through a wedding ring
Others to wear by those who sing
At Stockholm’s Estonian Song Festival.
Colourful gloves, bonnets, socks,
Patterns counted off graph-paper blocks,
Traditional snowflakes respecting the trust
Of Estonia left behind, in war’s dust.
In Sweden she did this in earnest
For she was a refugee
And her work was done for a fee.
In Estonia it was a women’s art
To knit, crotchet and dress smart
But then in 1944 with her life she fled
Knitting needles now clicked the feelings not said.
All the pieces tell a story
Of migration, and someone else’s war glory
My pink jacket and blue skirt with straps
Photos show places on antipodean maps
Other cultures fused
The Christening shawl not used
Since I grew and needed a skirt.
All packed in a trunk
Life was not to be a failure –
Off again, this time to Australia.
I have written about our journey and donated the collection of our memorabilia to the Immigration Section of the Australian National Maritime Museum, Darling Harbour, Sydney. It forms part of our collective Estonian heritage and contributes to our Estonian and Australian histories. Some of the poetry has been translated and published in Estonia. I consider these writings and the museum donation as my legacies to the courage and resilience of my parents. We all have our stories. This has been mine. I remember 22 September 1944 with respect and reverence for it has, in part, shaped my life also.
To end on a positive note, the search for my Estonianess has enriched my life immensely.
Credits: Written by Anu Mihkelson.
Anu Mihkelson read this story at the event titled “Exodus 80” at the Estonian House, Melbourne, 22 September 2024. Reproduced with permission from the author.
Short bio: Anu Mihkelson is a writer and a career academic. She graduated with a PhD in chemistry from the University of Sydney.
Publications relevant to this story
Books
Mihkelson, A. (1999). Three suitcases and a three year old. Available from Amazon.
Mihkelson, A. (2011). The view from here. Available from Amazon.
Mihkelson, A. (2019). Things I’ve seen places I’ve been. Available from Amazon.
Other publications relevant to Estonia
Hinrikus, R. (2000). Eesti Rahva Elulood II [Biographies of the Estonian people II]. See, for example, pp. 350–359. Tallinn: Estonian Literary Museum and Ühendus Eesti Elulood.
Kreutzwald, F. R. (2011). Kalevipoeg: Eesti rahvuseepos [Kalevipoeg: Estonian national epic] (T. Kartus, Trans.). Tartu-Tallinn: Estonian Literary Museum.
Vasilas, V. (Ed.) (2013). Across lands and oceans… to freedom. Stories and photographs from the Estonian journey to Australia and New Zealand. See, for example, pp. 92–97, Escape and limbo through verse and photographs. Riverwood, NSW: Ligare Book Printers.
Eesti Rahva Muuseumi Sõprade Selts (ERMSS). (2020). Eesti Rahva Muuseumi Sõprade Seltsi aastaraamat. LEE 26 [Yearbook of the Society of Friends of the Estonian National Museum. LEE 26]. See, for example, Peripatetic poems (in English and in translation), pp. 80–102. Tartu: ERMSS.
This story was collected as part of a campaign in support of the Mass Flight Memorial. If you have a story to share about your family’s mass flight experience, please write to us at news@eesti.org.au.